BOOK REVIEW
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This book has been waiting in the wings for me to need something heartwarming and it was the perfect choice after reading two very dark books: Satan's Affair and Haunting Adeline. I needed something warm and figured that a book hailed as an "uplifting memoir" would fit the bill.
It's been patiently waiting it's turn since I received it in my Teatime Bookshop subscription a few months ago (click the link to be taken to their website, use code KCSBOOKCORNER for 10% off).
Eleanor finds herself in her late 30s on a beach in India with three old ladies, trying to 'find herself' and 'discover her family history' like some sad middle-class crisis cliche. How did she get here?
Truthfully it could be for any one of the below reasons, if not all combined:
- Stepmum dying/Stepdad leaving - family falling apart, subsequent psychotic break; both parents now on third marriage
- Breaking up with K after 12 years - breaking up a whole life, a whole fucking universe - for reasons that may have been...misguided?
- New boyfriend moving in immediately, me insisting 'it's not a rebound!' even after everyone has stopped listening, then breaking up with me
- Going into therapy after dating a threatening narcissist (the most pertinent point of which should be noted: I did not break up with him - he ghosted me)
How to address this situation? Take a trip to India with your octogenarian nan and two great aunts of course. The perfect, if somewhat unusual, distraction from Eleanor's ongoing crisis.
But the trip offers so much than Eleanor could ever have hoped for.
Through the vivid and worldly older women in her life, she learns what it means to be staunch in the face of true adversity.
MY REVIEW
RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
SPICE: 🔥🔥(references to previous acts, in an unfavourable light - consent issues related to that. Not graphic but unpleasant)
This is my kind of memoir! And it's exactly what I needed after reading some very dark and graphic books over the last few weeks.
I tend to gravitate away from memoirs, as I find that they often veer into bleakness and misery, often focussing on poignance and heartbreak, making me sad. I know that's not all memoirs. Just my limited experience which has served to put me off when making selections from my TBR, in bookshops and when browsing the library.
The author was in her mid/late thirties when she went on her family adventure. I read it at a very similar age and connected, almost personally, to much of her lived experience. The lack of self-confidence during moments of personal change resonated with me. Athough the situations may have been different, the thoughts, experiences, and grieving process felt very familiar to me.
I also connected deeply with Eleanor's nan - she reminded me so much of my own. Now that I think about it, staunch is a word that would fit very well with Grandma's personality. She went through a lot, didn't pull any punches, but remained a solid, honest, loving, and exciting woman. Love for her family radiated from her and I still, even after all these years, miss her deeply. I, like Eleanor, would call her every day, sometimes more than once, to chat, to talk about life, and to connect. If my grandma was still here today, I'd like to think that we would have been on some adventures together, to "find ourselves".
When Eleanor spoke about some of her romantic experiences, especially with "Bad Boyfriend" and "The Lecturer" my heart broke for her, so many women have had similar experiences and can feel alone, stupid, vulnerable, and plain WRONG about how they are feeling. It was lovely to see the honest portrayal of what happened and how it shaped her behaviour and actions. There were some triggering elements to each of these romantic partnerships that she had but rather than focussing heavily on these, Eleanor draws attention to what she learned, how she coped, moved forward and became the woman she is now.
I'm a huge advocate for positive mental wellbeing, and this book really brought home the importance of having a support network around you, to catch you when you inevitably fall. It reminds you that your network can come from a variety of places. Even the ones you least expect. There's some real honest conversation about therapy, about the masks that we put on, just to get through the day. I found it engaging, smart, and refreshing to read. We don't wake up one day, suddenly feeling "happy". It takes work. Effort. Backward steps and self-reflection. This book didn't shy away from that and I loved it for that.
Eleanor's time in India with her elderly relatives sounded like one of peace, adventure, and joy. I really enjoyed reading about their blossoming relationships with one another.
While there were some deeply sad and painfully poignant moments, the main feelings throughout were ones of hope, of being uplifted, and of self-acceptance.
The style of writing flowed conversationally. It was really easy to read, to get lost in, and to connect with. It read almost like a fiction, it wasn't too heavy and it was a pleasure to read. Perhaps as a millennial, I also found it easy to "get" the references, to chuckle along with all of the 90s cool kid elements, and to feel part of the journey.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone in need of a read to pick them up. It's by far one of the best memoirs I have read.
What are your memoir recommendations? Let me know in the comments!
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